After four years of intensive study, I have concluded that all day jobs are bad for me. Once again, this one is killing me. Quickly.
But I cannot escape it, because there aren't going to be any better day jobs than this. There's no place else to explore. Aside from the pay, which could be improved, this is as good as I'm gonna find. Thus, I either slowly tighten until I snap, or I find a way around this immovable object.
Each day, I go to work, and by the end of my stay there, my spirit is 100% broken; I just want to go home, drink a few beers, and curl up for sleep. Even when I'm not physically drained, I'm soul tired, uninspired, angry, hopeless, and lonely.
So, my plan is this: I'm going to get up early, and try to work for three or four hours every morning, before going to work and having my soul crushed. This is a terrible idea, but terrible ideas are the only ones that seem to materialize in this world, aren't they?
We all know, this will never work. I am as far from a morning person as possible. I'm more Republican than I am morning person. Yet, it's in the morning shower that I feel closest to maybe, maybe, maybe being able to write something again, maybe, maybe, maybe and enjoy my existance again. It's not until work beats the hope out of me that I rage at my solitude and my powerlessness. So. We'll try this. My alarm clock is set for 6:05 AM. I'm gonna give it a shot.
Hell, I can't get any grumpier.