Posting Has Been SlightThese are the times when one hour a morning simply isn't even in the ballpark of sufficient time to be a writer. Problem scenes take vast amounts of trial and error, and the next scenes have been big fat problems. I found them painfully boring and, for lack of a better word, domesticated. I don't want to watch nice, friendly people being nice and friendly to one another. Where is the drama in that? The comedy?
In the end, this ALL went out the window.
The Engaged Couple
INT. KITCHEN - EVENING
Jon is at the range, cutting vegetables, when Maggie enters, still in her work clothes.
Hey. I didn't know you were gonna cook. I was gonna make the salmon.
I started the salmon, but I chickened out... and made chicken!
Oh, yummy. We're having puns.
You think the guests will like it?
Oh. Good question... You probably could've prepared a slightly higher class of joke. For example, you could have pooped in the salad.
(stands on tip-toes)
Listen to my stomach. I'm starved.
Jon leans down, puts his ear to her stomach.
I threw out my lunch. It tasted awful. Like baby-powder pudding wrapped in damp Kleenex.
What was it?
A burrito. Did you hear it?
All I hear is that grizzly bear you ate. He's using the garbage disposal.
Hey, I'm gonna need your help at dinner. Olivia gives me the creeps. I meant it, she freaks me out. She's always staring off at nothing, like she's trying to hear the neighbor's TV or something.
Maggie grabs a veggie and heads out, munching on it.
Don't worry about Ollie. I'll keep her away from you.
INT. LIVING-ROOM - SHORTLY LATER
Maggie, dressed for the evening, gives a big hug to the much fancier Ollie. Dr. Finch is nearby, taking off his coat.
Hello, Ollie! Jon will be so happy to see you!
OLIVIA "OLLIE" SCHMIEDER (30) looks like she ought to be hosting an office party circa 1965, but her eyes are unfocused, attention absent.
How about you toss your coats in the big chair, I gotta run down to the basement and grab some chairs.
Let me give you a hand... Ollie, why don't you go see Jon? Like we talked about?
Yeah, he's right through there.
INT. KITCHEN -
Jon is stirring a wildly steaming pot - when he senses something behind him. He slowly raises his head, but he doesn't dare look back.
Ollie is behind him. Glaring. A femme fatal.
INT. REFURBISHED BASEMENT -
The stairs lead Maggie and Finch down into the middle of a long-neglected basement rumpus room.
Hey now! Look at this. This would be perfect for an engagement party!
Tacky 70s carpet, a slouching upright piano, a moist pool-table and a dusty saloon bar, all stacked with boxes.
Look. I think I've explained this. Jon and I aren't getting engaged. We're just living together to save money. That's it. No marriage.
Maggie... I didn't mean you.
INT. KITCHEN - RESUMING
Ollie is now one pace behind Jon, staring vaguely, unfocused, at the counter-top. Jon continues uncomfortably stirring.
The doctor and I are going to be married, Jon. By and by, I shall be Misses Doctor Olivia Finch.
I'm going to be a doctor.
INT. REFURBISHED BASEMENT - RESUMING
Maggie is now hugging Dr. Finch.
Congratulations! Oh, god, wow. I'm so happy for you!
Does that mean you're okay with having the engagement party here?
We're hoping for something with a theme. Something fun. Retro! You know, like a World War II theme. World War II was fun, right?
You want to have the party down here?
My place is way out there in the nice part of town. No one will drive out there. And if they did, they'd probably get pulled over.
I guess we could do it here...
Plus, I have a lot of fragile stuff at my place. Most of my furniture is made of crystal. Don't wanna put it all in storage for one party.
Yeah, okay. We can do it here.
And I have eight dogs! Big dogs! My sister brought her kids over, and the little girl? My dog Brutus carried her off... We still haven't figured out where he put her.
I said okay, Dr. Finch. When do you want to have it?
I was thinking this weekend.