WilderWorks

Jun 5, 2010

Deleted Dialogue [Sick Day] : Sexy Songs

Playing Doctor
MAGGIE
There are better ways to play doctor. Ways that might actually make me feel better.
JON
Oh. You mean like Dr. Feel-Good.
MAGGIE
Yeah.
JON
I love that song.
MAGGIE
Yeah. And that “Sexual Healing” song is pretty good too.
JON
Is that Barry White? Barry White’s music makes me feel sexually inadequate.
MAGGIE
No, I think it’s Marvin Gaye.
JON
Oh. Well that’s not a very intimidating name.

Jun 4, 2010

Deleted Scene [Sick Day] : Dog Walker

Inspired by True Events: The Poo Flinger
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET - DAY
Maggie trudges along, walking the dog. She's got a coat over her robe, boots on, plus her ear-flap knit-cap. She carries a bright plastic baggy, full of dog doo.
MAGGIE
Bat-Man! The Bat-Man! Quit it. No!
For no apparent reason, the dog keeps darting toward the street. She tugs on his leash, and he darts back.
MAGGIE (CONT'D)
C'mon! Get out of the street!
An SUV stops at the stop-sign, just as Maggie reaches it. The dog darts out again, and Maggie yanks him back.
MAGGIE (CONT'D)
What is the matter with you today?
The DRIVER of the SUV rolls her window down. It's a middle-aged woman with a massive superiority complex.
DRIVER
Why don't you quit yanking on that goddamn dog, you asshole?
Maggie stops. Dumbfounded. Can't believe the gall.
DRIVER (CONT'D)
You're gonna break his neck!
The SUV starts away. Maggie's brain slowly processes.
MAGGIE
Oh yeah? Fuck you!
Then, Maggie raises her arm - and FLINGS THE POO BAG.
It tumbles beautifully through the air, and slips perfectly into the open window, just before it closes.
Maggie is astounded! Thrilled! Can't believe it! Mouth open, eyes happy and surprised.
Then, the SUV stops dead. SCREECH! And the doors open. There are three VERY LARGE WOMEN in that SUV.
MAGGIE (CONT'D)
Ugh. This is not the day for this.
Sick or not - Maggie turns - AND SHE RUNS LIKE HELL.